Video Gamers

I'm guessing there are a few people who read this blog (probaby only about 7 actually read it) who play video games (Dave Bagger is an occasional reader and I know that Will's dad bought a Wii for Christmas and that Will and Dale will likely play it considerably--even though Will claims to HATE PC Gamers). So in true fun hating style, for all of you who will pass the time having fun playing your new games and game consoles, just enjoy this clip from South Park.

Good Material Coming

Fellow Readers: I have received at least THREE complaints (Billy, Will and Jenny) about my lack of posting. If three people have expressed their disappointment, I can only imagine how many more concerned fans I have. There must be at least nine.

Don't worry. With the little hiatus I took from the blogosphere, I have been collecting quality material and will unleash after all this joyus merriment of Christmas is over.

Stay tuned. Posts soon. I promise.

A Week Off

I'm sure I've disappointed many of you with the lack of posting over the past week. The Christmas season is upon us and I've been a bit distracted by taking it all in. I hope to get back on track.

This photoshopped image of a friend magically appeared in my inbox last week. You're going to have to click on the link to see it. I really don't know what to think about it. I am at a loss for words. Click here: MS. ROGER'S NEIGHBOORHOOD

A Fun Loving Weekend and a Restless Night

Let it be known that fun occurred this weekend. Friday night I hung out with my buddy Travis (see previous post). Saturday night I went out to eat with Travis, his gf, and her friend Ashley. Fun was had, even though I felt like a zombie. Sunday night there was some dessert party that I attended (sort of lame). Several people said, "hello, Court" and I didn't have a clue who they were. Not a clue. One girl came up to me and said, "You're Court. I've heard you're really funny." No clue who she was. Never said two words to her in my life and didn't recognize her from Eve. So, I just would like all of you who claim that I hate fun to realize that I spent the weekend taking it out and chopping it up.

One more interesting note. I sleep on a California King mattress. If you're not familiar with those, they are about 20 feet by 20 feet. They're enormous. I can sleep length wise of width wise and my feet don't even come close to hanging over the edge. Honestly, 4 or 5 people could sleep comfortably in the bed at the same time. Anyway, last night I turned out the lights and I was sleeping with my head pointing towards the west and my feet towards the east. When I woke up, my head was facing north and my feet facing south. What on earth? I had turned a full 90 degrees. I don't know if that's ever happened. I don't recall having a crazy dream or anything like that. Just decided to to a 90 degree turn. Or who knows, maybe I did a 270 degree turn???

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION BUT EARLIER

So I was discussing many a topic with my good friend Travis Sudweeks yesterday. Travis is one of the most positive people I know. When he's in a trough and I'm at a crest, his trough is probably still above my crest. Curse him. Anyway, he suggested that I get the positive thoughts flowing more regularly and draw on the power of optimism and confidence instead of negativity and cynicism.

As a result, I am turning over a new leaf. Check it out: ¡yo amo fun!

Best Email Reply of the Day from Narwhal Co. Announcement

So I sent out a mass email to about 250 people from my contact list yesterday announcing that NARWHAL CO.was officially online. As a result, I received many a reply. However, there was one in particular that took the cake. Please enjoy.

"you're a genius court. I might have to buy some of your paraphenelia for that fire fighter guy who was dating that blonde girl sherry who lived next door to us and worked at golds, where I once was foolish enough to ask her out, at which point she shot me down, stammering something about a chemistry test, which I knew to be false, because while the girl was a fine piece, there was nothing between her ears except for air, which is what attracted me to her in the first place, carnal man that I was, yet to conquer the flesh. but I do like how you've gotten green, even though I live in texas, meaning I consume a lot of fast food (I do) and emit much pollution into the air (I do) and don't give a second thought to it (I don't). personally, I think environmentalism is annoying, unless the person who espouses it is truly down with nature (in a camping kind of way), which you are, so I'm cool with that. these city dwellers, however, who wouldn't know a campfire from a hole in their ass, I have no patience for their fashionable environmentalism, their hybrid cars and what not. sheep I tell you. manufactured consent, I tell you."

Awesome.

Confirmation

I received an email this morning from Summer (wife of the fun hater pictured below).

The email was addressed to me, Sierra, Sean (newest member) and Terrie. The email contained a link to view some guys in flying suits buzzing the walls of cliffs and whatnot. Sort of interesting, if you're European. The title of the email was, "this is crazy". Please click on the link to view the video: FLYING SUITS

(What you don't want to do is click on the on the logo positioned behind the video titled, "Fun Babes Biertijd"--unless you're into adult entertainment. Summer, why send such filth?)

Sean soon replied to the email stating, "I've actually done this before. It's not that fun." See previous post. Sean wins.

Fun Haters of the World Unite welcomes its newest member

Over the weekend unofficial polling results determined that this man (my cousin's husband) is a bigger fun hater than I. Fun flees from his presence. You run the risk of being hospitalized at the mere attempt of thinking about fun while near his proximity. I liked him the second I met him. From one fun hater to another, we welcome you, Sean.

GONE BABY GONE

Many of you are probably sitting on the edge of your seats wondering what happened to my potential fun hating evening last night (see previous post).

You will all be glad to know, I didn't end up hating fun. I went to the movies with my friend Erika. Going to the movies is big time for me. I'm serious.

It's not often I'll recommend a movie because I rarely go to them and I don't rent them either; however, this one I'll give a strong 8.3 on my fun hating scale (anything above 6.8 on this scale is worth enduring fun).

A word of warning to those considering seeing it: if you love the "F" word and interesting uses and variations of it in a Boston accent, DEFINITELY go see this movie. If you don't love the "F" word (who doesn't these days? Just kidding, mom.) and somewhat darker depressing themes, you might want to pass.

Here's the link to watch the trailer: Gone Baby Gone

Lester Bangs

It's Friday night at 6:42pm and I'm at the computer...I'm a young guy in the prime of my life, I should be out on the town taking it out and chopping it up.

I will admit that I have plans to go play some futbol with a female friend of mine, but I am sick and I hate fun, so we'll see what happens.

Which brings me to one of my favorite quotes from the movie Almost Famous.

William Miller (protagonist) had to submit a story to Rolling Stone. He was a bit distressed and called Lester Bangs (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) for some help. It was a weekend night and Miller was worried Bangs would be out on the town. To his surprise, Bangs answered the phone. After some conversation Miller expressed his relief that Bangs was home, to which Bangs stated,"I'm always home. I'm uncool."

Just the other day this girl at church said, "I should call you. I bet you're always out doing something interesting and cool..." Not joking. Exact quote.

I should have replied, "I'm always home. I'm uncool."

Watch the clip. Enjoy. As my friend Rob said, "youtube is what the internet was made for." At this moment I agree.

"...make me cool, heroic maybe..."

If you read my previous post, you'll notice my bro-in-law asked me to make him, "...cool, heroic maybe..." when I incorporated/introduced him into the blog.

You can see from the pictures that I don't have much to work with. Damn it, Martin. I'm neither a doctor nor a miracle worker.

By the way, this is what happens when you (Martin) hook up your camera to my computer when I'm not around, download photos and then put them all in the "trash" but forget to delete them. You never thought those photos would come back to haunt you four years later (that's when I found them digging through my photo trash can).

Every body thinks they're a comedian. Well, two people at least.

Here were a couple of email responses to my temp job duties post. Everyone thinks they're a comedian in this life, don't they.

Response One:
I was reading about the job posting and how you have to wear steel toe shoes and be able to lift 50 lbs. Maybe with steel toe shoes you could weigh 50 lbs!

Response Two:
Thanks for telling me you had a blog, loser. It's a funny blog though, where did you lift all of the material? You need to fill out your profile and some how work me into some of your "deep thoughts". I think that it would help make your blog sound less dark (with me in it would probably grow your readership 10 fold in just a few days). I think you need to go on meds because your blog make it sound like you are about to go over the edge. Question: can you lift 50 lbs.? Also, you don't sound very enthusiastic and motivated. When you add me to your blog make me cool, heroic maybe, or you will regret it.

The most awesome brother-in-law you have,

Martin

My response to response one: You mock my weight, but I know you're only jealous as the last time you weighed in at a spry 147lbs (my weight on a good day when I'm soaking wet) was probably when you were in 2nd grade (ok, maybe 10th grade. You're not that big of a fatty. I'm just harassing you). I know you long to see you toes again when you stand up, but that's going to require that you pass up the chocolate donuts every time you stop for gas at a convenience store.

My response to response two: He calls me a loser. Tells me it's funny. Wants to steal my blog limelight by working him into my "deep thoughts". Tells me I should be on meds (maybe I already am). Questions my ability to lift 50lbs. He tells me I don't sound very enthusiastic or motivated. And then to top it all off he wants me to make him sound, "cool, heroic maybe" when I work him in.

Does anybody else see what's wrong with this picture. Luckily I only have to deal with Martin once or twice a year. Unfortunately, my poor sister has to endure him on a daily basis. J/K, Martin. We heart you.

The Land of the Rising Sun

We have "Deal or No Deal" here in the States.

In Japan they have these gems:

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/223/popup/index.php?cl=4878187

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlAkOhH9eek&mode=related&search=

We drop the atomic bomb on them and they come back with Toyota Motors and basically destroy our car market. Then they completely out do themselves with these game shows. Unbelievable. You have to admire the Japanese.

These were brought to my attention by my dear friends Rob and Carleton. Thanks, Robert and Carleton.

My mom's response to the announcement of my blog and Snoop Doggy Dog and jobby job post

"Loved LOVED your blog! It's about time you started documenting your progress. How do I get to it? The same address always? Does the latest entry come up as soon as you post it? I'm not internet savvy but I'll learn. One question: Funhater? Doesn't sound like you. And what's with the turn down on Verizon? I'd think you'd love visiting anonymously with people. You'd shine. Love, Mommy"

I have a few comments regarding my mother's email:

1. "documenting my progress"????????? Since when is getting a job at a temp agency at this point in my life progress? Bless your heart, mom. But this is more of a regression than a progression.

2. "One question: Funhater? Doesn't sound like you." Bless your heart again, mom. Believe it or not, there are people out there who think I hate fun (you know who you are: Terrie, Sierra, Summer, Jenny...). If anybody knows me, it's my mom and she knows that deep down I HEART fun.

3. "And what's with the turn down on Verizon? I'd think you'd love visiting anonymously with people. You'd shine." Maybe she doesn't know me after all. Mom!! Visiting anonymously with people at Verizon in the mall?????!!!!!!! Are you my mother or what??? I will now question almost everything you say, except for point number 2. Thanks, mom.

Snoop Doggy Dog needs to get a jobby job

So Narwhal Co. has taken significantly longer to get going that I ever anticipated. It's not Nov. 12. I was hoping to have this up and going by the end of Summer. Oh well.

Anyway, it should be official on Wednesday. Fingers are crossed.

But due to some unexpected expenses (I got lousy ticket for not wearing my seat belt, which is sure to set me back several hundred dollars. I also purchased some items at American Apparel to try out with the shirt designs I'll be selling on the site and figured I'd return them after doing some color/style coordinating. Nope. I guess I didn't read the fine print that said, "no refunds. Exchange or store credit only.") I went out and got a temp job today. All right!

As of Wednesday (and only until next Tuesday), I 'd like all of you to refer to me by my official title of Material Handler. That's right. I will be a material handler for the upcoming week. I can hardly contain the excitement.

Here's the job description: Remstart is looking for an eager, fast paced team player for this assignment. Shipping and warehouse experience, have a sense of urgency, enthusiastic and motivated. They (me) will be staging the project for the techs to assemble. The position requires steel toe shoes. Must be able to lift 50 lbs. EXPERIENCE WITH POWER TOOLS A PLUS!

My life just got so much worse.

When I was at the temp agency the woman there asked me what my strengths were. I said, "strong interpersonal skill, great communication/connector, speak Spanish, low maitenance/high yield...blah, blah, blah."

She first said, "I have the perfect job for you. Working for Verizon being a greeter at one of their kiosks in the mall. They need someone who speaks Spanish and it's only a two week job."

I'd rather go to the gun store and prepare to exit this world than take that job. I had to politely decline stating I couldn't work weekends. But the real reason is that I would probably kill myself if I had to do that even one hour, much less two weeks. So much for strong interpersonal skills--at least at the Verizon store.

Sunday, Sunday

This is three weeks in a row without falling asleep during Sacrament meeting. Can I get a medal or something? I had quite a streak of straight up passing out during the first hour of church. I don't know what was wrong with me.

However, there was a stake Priesthood meeting tonight and I fell dead asleep for about 20 mins. of it. I woke up and my arms were totally numb from resting them across my knees and then putting my head on them. I'm sure I also had a large red spot on my forehead. No big deal though.

I think it was just a youth speaker or two that I missed. What do they know anyway?

"Sometimes nothing can be a pretty cool hand"

It's official. I have joined the blogosphere on the world wide interweb. I am here living the dream (or nightmare, it all depends on the day) and it's time to start documenting it. What will become of this, I am not quite sure. Who will read it? That is a good question. All I know is that noteworthy events occur on a semi regular basis and it's time to put finger to keyboard and share my so-called life for all you voyeurs out there.

Here we go. Welcome aboard.